1. In Yes They Did news…the NRA launched a shooting gallery app. Because now anyone ages 4 and up can practice killing people on Starbucks free wi-fi! It “instills safe and responsible ownership through fun challenges and realistic simulations.”
2.in Giving Women Drivers A Bad Name news…a woman stole a train, drove it off the tracks and into a house. I’m too baffled to even respond.
3. In John E. Must Have Had Something To Do With This news…18 heads were shipped from Rome to O’hare airport in Chicago. The heads were sent to the U.S. to be cremated after being used for research purposes. Though wrapped properly and all paperwork was correctly filed…could you imagine being the person who had to x-ray the coolers?
4. In The Most Confusing News Story Ever news…Manti Te’o. Does he have a girlfriend, doesn’t he? Is she real? What the hell??? I have no idea what the hell is going on!
5. In I’m Surprised She Hasn’t Done It Sooner news…Octomom has signed on to strip at a Florida “gentleman’s club”. For men to see her stretch marks and c-section scar, she will get 20 grand. Hell, I have stretch marks and a c-section scar. I might drop ‘em for 20 grand!!!