Muscles, Muscles, Muscles

My kids are super heavy.  My son is 2 1/2 and weighs 35 pounds and my daughter is 14 months and weighs 27 pounds.  They aren’t fat, but are very tall and solid (like their dad).  Together they weigh 62 pounds and when they are in my fancy jogging stroller (33 lbs)  I try to push close to 100 pounds up a hill.  My daughter is what a friend has dubbed “pretty to look at, not to touch,” and hates other people (she really only likes 4 people).  She comes unglued when others try to hold her or come near her, and has an ear-piercing scream, so I spend a lot of time holding her when I am anywhere but in the safety of my home.

We are also safely baby-gated in this house, otherwise things would get flushed down the toilet and my daughter would most likely need her stomach pumped at some point (for some reason she likes to put soap bottles in her mouth).  We have wide hallways so we went a tad ghetto with baby gates.  Instead of spending 300 dollars on a gate and extensions, we took an old octagon gate from a friend and bungee corded it to our furniture (class all the way!).  Because it is bungee corded to the furniture, I have to lift my mooses over the gate constantly to change diapers, take baths, naps, etc.

Where am I going with this?  I really think I should have more muscular arms.  I do the equivalent of 9 million bicep curls a day picking up these kids, how come my arms don’t look like Madonna’s? (Her arms are a little too buff for me, so how about Jessica Biel?)  Maybe it’s the 600 lb Gorillas, crack-filled ice cream sandwiches from Costco…but still.  There should be a lot more definition.  There has to be some good to come out of such heavy children!

I don’t think I come close to either one, especially since it looks like I am going to beat the crap out of someone (and I am clenching as hard as I can to make my muscles look big and they aren’t flexing at all in their pictures!)

8 Responses to “Muscles, Muscles, Muscles”

  1. 1 redriverpak August 5, 2010 at 8:14 am

    I tried flexing my arm once. I got a hernia and was bedridden for a week.:) Again, you get the online bravery award. Butt pics, arm pics,……what next? Pics of your feet?:) And just how big is your husband that you are saddled with these two bohemoth children? Are you married to a WWE wrestler?:)

    • 2 thelifeofjamie August 5, 2010 at 8:59 am

      My husband is 6’4 (tall but not gigantic) and about 210. He’s tall and thin but is solid muscle. And I have cute feet- I may have to post them for you, my toe nails are currently blue!

  2. 3 thepieholeoverfloweth August 5, 2010 at 8:32 am

    I am with you! I haul my 33lbs and 24lbs of love up and down the stairs many times a day, in and out of the car, in the stroller, etc. And do not have arms that look like either of those chics. I think were we are going wrong is that we EAT and we don’t have a the means or time to be killed by a personal trainer for 6 hours a day- yet chasing around my kids, may feel like that some days.

  3. 5 thepieholeoverfloweth August 5, 2010 at 10:14 am

    congats on breaking a 1,000! I just broke the 500 mark… I will never be at the “idiot’s” level… he has “ITS” (Idiot Turetts Syndrome” and I can’t compete with that:-)

  4. 8 yellowcat August 26, 2010 at 5:41 pm

    I lift and carry heavy plates all day, you would think I would have fabulous arms. Alas, I look like a bat when I hold my arms up.

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