Things That Irritate Me # 13: Backseat Drivers

Specifically, two backseat drivers in particular…


My children want to know everything about everything when I am in the car. Sometimes I have to ban questions (and speaking) when in the car because they ask so many that my head wants to explode.

A typical car ride sounds something like this:
What kind of car is that? What does it start with? Why did you put on the breaks? Look he’s being a bad driver! Look he’s being safe, he’s wearing a helmet on his bicycle! Mommy why don’t you like motorcycles? Mommy, who’s speeding? Why are we going so slow? How come there are so many cars? Look, he crasheded (intentional spelling error). Why did he crash? Where are we going? Are we on the freeway? Were we already on the freeway? Are we getting off the freeway? Look a bus (or garbage truck or motor home, or big truck trailer, etc)! Look a policeman! Why is there a policeman? Mommy can I have a snack? I can’t reach my (fill in the blank)! Mommy look at what I made! Which way are we going? I want to go that way. Why are we going there? Is daddy home? When is daddy coming home? I can’t see the car behind us. What’s that (accompanied with pointing while driving 75mph)? What’s that? Why did you honk? Why does that person have their hand out the window?

And this is just in the 15 minute drive to the gym. By the time I get to my destination, my nerves are so frayed that I really just want a drink! This has only gotten worse since we got in our fender bender and have been in a tiny rental car for the past week waiting for my SUV to be fixed. They are a lot closer to it all (and the windows aren’t tinted) in this Dodge Avenger (hate this car) than my 4 Runner. They are much more inclined to point out the bad drivers now. I miss the days when they would just conk out in the car.

My husband, surprisingly, is not much of a backseat driver. He pops out with something every now and then, but for the most part, he shares my complete and utter disdain for car ride questions. At least I have a partner to yell “no more f-ing questions!!!” with.

we’ll miss you Brain Rants! Take care of yourself and come home safely! Let us know when you get there!

15 Responses to “Things That Irritate Me # 13: Backseat Drivers”

  1. 1 Kathryn McCullough April 20, 2012 at 6:22 am

    Oh God, Jamie, if you were to talk to my partner Sara, she would say I’m a chief offender of #13. Yikes.

  2. 3 laurengraceevans April 20, 2012 at 6:39 am

    Cute but annoying I imagine!

  3. 5 List of X April 20, 2012 at 6:59 am

    Can you get them an IPhone with Siri? :)

  4. 7 John Erickson April 20, 2012 at 9:41 am

    Well, I too was going to suggest an Internet interface, make a game out of them finding the answers for themselves. However, in your case, I could give you instructions for fitting a plexiglass partition right behind the front seats. Sound-proof, no less! Of course, duct tape IS a lot cheaper, but child welfare workers frown on that, for some strange reason……

  5. 12 yellowcat April 20, 2012 at 1:48 pm

    It’s better than screaming and fighting.

  6. 14 Tori Nelson April 23, 2012 at 6:11 am

    This is one more reason I am shocked Tom hasn’t tried to kill me (or else he’s really, super sneaky!). I am the worst, particularly doing the “air brake” with my foot and making a bajillion worried sounds every time he comes near a red light.

  1. 1 If I Had A Nickel… « The Life of Jamie Trackback on April 26, 2012 at 6:32 am

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