It seems like every week my local news channel has unlocked the secret to getting a good night’s sleep. Unfortunately I can never watch it because it’s (ironically) always on the 11 o’clock news. Don’t you think that should be 5 o’clock news so everyone can watch and learn the new miraculous sleep cure.
I have the cure for sleep, it’s very simple…get in bed, turn the lights off, close your eyes. BAM! You now owe me 500 dollars. I know for some people it just isn’t that easy. When I was about 9, I went through a very long period of insomnia. My parents tried everything…after weeks and weeks, I finally picked up a book that my grandmother gave me. Three pages into The Yearling and I was out like a light! I highly recommend it. If you find The Yearling to be a good novel, try something that you know will put you to sleep, like an anatomy textbook, or a physics text. Better yet, geology- that put me to sleep in college. In fact, it made it hard to wake up to get there too!
If that doesn’t work either, Nyquil is an excellent friend. Take a little swig (or appropriately measure out of the bottle to avoid overdose: disclaimer) and wait for the rich cherry goodness to take hold. I sleep GOOD on Nyquil. I don’t take it very often because I wake up groggy and my children and I don’t seem to get along when I am groggy. If I am sick, Nyquil and I are besties! When my husband is sick, he takes Nyquil and a swig of his cough syrup with codeine. I have to check to make sure he is breathing in the middle of the night, although the snoring is usually an indicator that he is (and I want to smother him with a pillow).
I have been having trouble staying asleep lately. Last night Alan Alda and I were at an award’s dinner in San Diego with my kids, one of their friends and my ex-boyfriend. Alan was upset that he didn’t get an award after all his years of service in the military. Those are the kind of dreams I have that make me wake up and go WTF? BUT at the end of my dream, my ex-boyfriend turned into William Levy and I didn’t care that he was cheating on his wife!
I would love to have dreamless sleep. I really would. My dreams are vivid, bizarre and they leave me very restless. I talk in my sleep often and that keeps my husband up too sometimes. His favorite thing that I have ever said in my sleep is ‘cheese fries’. I don’t know why I was talking about cheese fries, but I suppose it’s better than trying to pull him out of bed to go catch the canoe. I’ve done that too.
My sister has some really good stories of me talking in my sleep and she has my permission to post them…